Do you ever have those moments where you are like, “Really God, really?” Yesterday evening I had one of those moments. In fact I thought that very thing, “Really God, really?” “Can a guy catch a break?” Here we are packing again…the fourth move in three years. Since this move is most likely to a month to month place we could make it five moves in three years. With the closing of ECC we can no longer afford to stay in our current house so we are moving again, this time something month to month or a very short lease. You might be wondering about all the other moves, but only one of them was our idea. The rest were God, leases, and landlords. I am trying to get a grip on this...Is God trying to teach us something, and if so what? We are trying to be good stewards with our money, yet with this move we are throwing a $950 deposit down the drain by breaking our lease (something I have never done), not to mention more moving cost. I would just like to know why? Is this our “high cost” of following Christ? Did we do something to offend you God?
The truth is I am kind of searching for my place right now. I know God led us to merge ECC with Central, but I am still unsure of my place in all of that, oh I have a title and all, but it is little more than that to me. It’s where my heart is that matters to me, and to be honest I am not sure where it is right now. I have no doubt that God has led and worked through this adventure that has been Tucson, AZ to this point, but I have no idea what is next. As cheesy as this sounds I’m reminded of line from a song from the 80’s by Michael W. Smith called “Place in this World”. It says, “I am looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world, my place in this world. I need Your light to help me find my place in this world, my place in this world”. I know who I am I am in Christ, I know who God has called me to be, but I am not sure where that fits now, or what it looks like.
For now I am doing what I know. I know God called us here; I know He called us to help merge ECC to Central, and I know we have to move, or eat up all of our savings…so I guess I am going to go pack some boxes.